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  • Ondoy 2.0: The Feelings of an Ondoy Survivor #PrayforthePhilippines

    Posted on August 7th, 2012 brenna No comments

    I am so scared at the moment. At 7.39am in the morning, the country’s been going through 9 whole days of rain and I am so scared. I can’t stop moving, I can’t stop thinking. I can’t stop picturing what I remember. I can’t stop remembering. I can’t stop fearing for the worst. Fearing for the day that my family will have to experience what I experienced during that fateful September 26, 2009 on the day of the Ondoy flooding, wherein I was trapped with a friend’s family and far from my own.

    I’m with my family now, but when I looked outside to the raging current of the river, I am scared. I am scared of what’s going to happen. I am scared of what this rain is capable of. I am scared for my family, my two young brothers and my parents who have never experienced this kind of flood in their life.

    And at the same time, I am guilty, because I am writing this and we still have electricity and there’s no flood inside the house, nor on our street. I am guilty for being so scared and tweeting and posting on Facebook because there are people who are truly in danger at the moment. I am guilty because I am crying and the people who have evacuated to the next door school are laughing their fears away.

    I am guilty because I am scared for my family and I picture them swimming along really high floods or the time that we have to evacuate from our home. I fear the day time that we have to take my dog, my things into the car and drive to a safer place. And the thing is… there’s no more safer place! We are on high lands already in Cainta, and the river that passes along our house goes straight into Laguna Bay, which my dad tells me is safer because it will probably continue flowing.

    I am guilty because they opened the Manggahan-Floodway gates to let in the water from the Marikina River, which is on its Alert Level 4 and I hate them for it, for causing the strong tides in the river, for the increase of the water levels along the river. But I know if they don’t, those in Marikina will be in even bigger danger.

    I hate the sound of the rain, because I can’t stop moving or thinking every time I hear it. Because every time I hear that harsh, rush of water pounding on my windows, I know it’s going to get worse. I know the danger is not over. I am supposed to be working. But my brain is like a buzzer at the moment, continuous, restless, loud and unrelenting. I am so scared.

    I am so scared.

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