Everything She'd Like to Say
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  • Commemorating September 26, 2009

    Posted on September 26th, 2011 brenna No comments

    Two years ago, I was in a different place during this night. I was wearing someone else’s clothes, I was with someone else’s family, I had just swum flood that reached up to my neck, and my cellphones had all been caught with water while I swam for my life. Two years ago, I thought I was going to die.

    At 10pm that night, the time went by so slowly – so slowly that I was getting impatient at how I really wanted to contact my family already. The water had risen up to about two floors and a half so that the third floor apartment building we had been stranded at looked like a lakehouse. The rain had finally stopped and if you looked outside, it seemed as if we were only situated beside a silent lake.

    However, in reality, it had been hours since my last contact with my sister who had desperately tried to get to me in the afternoon but failed because the water has risen up to her neck. It had been hours since I told them to move up to higher grounds to save themselves. What was going to happen to my family? What was going to happen to our home? This was what I had been thinking that night. I hadn’t spoken with my parents for many months (we had a rift that time) and that night, when I had missed death by a string and was still not sure how I was going to survive the flood, the only thing I wanted to do was cry and hear my parents’ voice again.


    That was two years ago. After surviving Ondoy, I am grateful. I am grateful for my family, my friends, my strength from God. I am grateful that he gave me another day to live, two years and more since the disaster. I am grateful I survived.


    May God be with those who have been less fortunate on this day in 2009. May he bless them and accept them into his Kingdom.

  • A Dream of Realizations

    Posted on September 25th, 2011 brenna No comments

    I was in a kind of hotel – I lived there, I think it was about 3 – 4 floors. The guy I’ve been crushing on for awhile was in my dream and he and I had some sort of on and off thing for each other. He wasn’t making any move and neither was I. I don’t really remember now the beginning of my dream, but I remember the intensity of it. I wasn’t sure how to move on in the relationship and I didn’t know if he wanted to move forward or just move on.

    Then came a time, my mother, knock on wood, suffered a mild heart attack. I was the only one with her and I had to help her from where she stood on the first floor to our apartment on the 3rd floor. I then rushed to the front desk to have them call an ambulance for help. Within minutes, an ambulance was there to help my mother.

    Still, I don’t really know where my family was at that time, but HE was there with me and I made the first move to hug him and soon enough we were kissing. He wasn’t complaining but I was so scared he’d pull away that I didn’t know if I should do it earlier to save face.

    I don’t remember much now, even if I had just woken up, but in this dream, HE and I were together – even if I had to make the first move, no matter how hesitant I had been because I was afraid of rejection. He was there with me while I cared for my mother. We took some sort of swing or cable car somewhere together and it was then that he somewhat signified that he wanted to be with me too.

    In the dream, he could have chosen to swing alone or go on his own path, and I looked out at him from afar, I didn’t make any move, no any sound to tell him I would go with him if he wanted me too. He did, gesturing me to come inside the swing/cable car and climb into it with him.

    As soon as I climbed in, I wrapped my arms around him. It felt so good to have my arms around him – even if then, I still wasn’t sure how sure he was of me. I was afraid any moment later, he’d change his mind about me.

    Even though I wasn’t sure how to show it to him, I was happy I was with HIM. I was happy we were finally together and even so, I worried every minute he’d change his mind and I’d have my guard down already and it would hurt so much I wasn’t sure how I’d handle it.

    I awoke a bit around 8pm, but I didn’t fully wake up. I wanted the dream to go on. I wanted to be with HIM some more – even if it meant sleeping some more. I woke up at around 11 instead, realizing what a mess I really am.

    A few minutes after waking up, I’m still haunted by our time together and how refreshingly happy and giddy it felt even if it was in my dream. But I have a feeling I’ll keep looking for that warmth of touch, the soft kisses and sweet hugs.

    I have no idea what this dream meant. Or if this meant I was in some kind of half – in love phase with HIM. I did get slight realization from my dream though – that I am without a doubt, troubled – especially when it comes to trusting someone, falling in love and letting down my guard.

  • Moymoy Palaboy vs BBG Moymoy Palaboy?

    Posted on September 23rd, 2011 brenna No comments

    I’ve always thought Moymoy Palaboy was funny – even when they weren’t famous yet, I’ve watched their old videos. Watching from their new videos via Bubble Gang, they’re not that funny anymore – well at least, according to me. From their un-trying hard videos on Youtube to the pressure of being funny on Bubble Gang – they’ve gone from being actually funny to overacting. :(


    One of their best and first videos:



    I can’t find a recent video of Moymoy Palaboy but this was taken just a few months into their discovery when they were still kinda funny and just a start up in the business.
    I don’t know what happened though, I’ve been watching their recent videos and it’s not as funny as it used to be.


    Although, I do think this is kinda cute especially with Rhian Ramos making really adorable faces.


    What do you think? Are Moymoy Palaboy still as funny? Or are they losing touch?

  • Patient X – Torture on Filipino Television?

    Posted on September 18th, 2011 brenna 2 comments

    The horror film directed by Yam Lanares, Patient X starring Richard Gutierez and Christine Reyes was shown again today on television. This isn’t the first time I was able to watch it on television.

    Patient X from Starmometer.com


    When I say torture – I don’t mean that it made a really bad impression for kids or showing torture or gore scenes on television.

    I mean it is TORTURE to watch such movie!

    I am sure that the director is talented and the cast must have some talent in themselves too because they are highly ranked celebrities in the Philippines.

    But the movie – gawd, I don’t know where to start.

    Maybe with the bad blood scenes? You can practically see that the blood was fake.

    The lightning and raining setting? WTF? I mean it! WHAT THE F&*%! May it be a cliche setting, the effects of the lightning and rain was so bad, it was so faaar from being the actual cliche setting.

    The antagonists – the “aswangs” or vampires consisted of just growling and wet hair. Seriously? I could growl better than that and I’m a girl!

    The supposed-gruesome scenes of cutting heads off – my gawd, what a terribly made scene! Very unrealistic, unbelievable and bad, bad effects.

    The plot is just passable and it won’t even count once you get into the movie. The movie is so badly made you lose interest in the first 15 minutes. You can tune in again at the end but you’ll be so irritated at how so not-scary it is, that you’ll end up turning it off and watch another lame episode of any other show instead.

    The actors, yes, they have face value. But really? Aside from that, the characters were also really badly played that you wonder if they knew it was going to be a bad movie in the beginning.

    Seriously, I don’t know why anyone would want the Filipino community to watch that movie – TWICE!

    The movie lacked any kind of horror feel, no actual action scene to get you screaming off your feet and better music. Come’on. I could do better scary sounds than that!

    My recommendation for Patient X – don’t watch. Unless you’re really bored and losing it or you want to laugh at some really bad movies, then Patient X is all yours. No rating for this movie from me.